The African Geek Girl

Left unexamined, fear conquers the mind, one limiting thought at a time. Brick by brick it builds a prison in which to place your brilliance, and starve it of air.

But it doesn’t stop there.

Left unexamined, fear migrates to the heart and begins its work again. One sinking feeling at a time, it drowns your self-love in an ocean of shame.

And still, it seeks more to destroy.

Left unexamined, fear crawls into your soul. One unfulfilled moment at a time, it replaces all that is and could be, with all that isn’t and shouldn’t be. Then, one day the self that was you wakes up and realises that fear has killed their mind, heart and soul.

Nobody wakes up and decides to be afraid. No, fear knows that it is the unwanted guest who out stays their welcome. So, when it comes to you, it does not call itself by its own name. It wears the skins of other things: realism; prudent planning; safety. It speaks to you in the voice of patient and jaded past experience, or it presents itself as a safer idea. It positions your hopes and dreams as delusions. It knows how to make itself feel inevitable.

Then, it knocks on the door of your mind. And at some point, maybe you let it in.

The good news is that the self is a resilient thing. Like the plant that grows from a single cutting, the ember that smoulders in a doused fire. The self wants to exist, and its will is a formidable thing.

I’ve been tricked by fear many times in my life. I have ceded self to the mind killer, and learnt to identify it by the muted misery it leaves behind. I have fought back, tested fear’s grasp against the reach of my being, and found myself stronger.

So, if fear has been killing parts of you, know that it can be defeated. It is not to late to stop being afraid, and start being yourself.